Avoiding two ditches:

Taming the “Me Monster.” Drawing out the old, shy, Scotsman.

I have the growing desire to write. Beginning by sharing some of the stories from these last six years in Canada. That’s why I’m starting this blog. It feels like a hidden and profoundly healing chapter of life is drawing to a close and as the page turns, in this liminal space of change, I want to put into print some of the lessons learned. However, I am keenly aware that in writing about these experiences, there is a real danger that I will merely feed the “Me Monster.” All you will hear about is my encounters, my spiritual life and my zeal for the Lord. Me! Me! Me! Look at me! All airbrushed and looking perfect in print. (The “Me Monster” is not my term, it originates from the comedian Brian Regan, and if you want a good laugh, watch this). 

Overreacting to this danger, swerving to avoid one ditch and going straight across into the another, a different (and more dominant) part of my personality quickly emerges. The quiet, introverted Scotsman. He feels older than he actually is, and likes to keep such experiences to himself. His spiritual kith and kin are the dear saints of the Hebridean Isles, who speak of God in holy and hushed tones. Publishing this blog threatens to turn his hair white. If it’s not already. 

In writing this first entry, I have sought to listen to both of those parts in me. I am happy to announce that some kind of mediation has occurred. To avoid the overreaching power of the “Me Monster,” I have connected to the true intention behind writing this blog. It is something that a mentor, the late John Paul Jackson, sought to encourage the church in, and it’s a mantle that I want to pick up here: to tell of the awe of God and to encourage others into living from that holy place too. We are made for wonder! 

My role here is to simply point the way (getting out of the way), to bear witness to the beauty, the wonder and the holy awe of the living God. 

To the quiet, retiring soul who lives within me, let’s call him Old Shy Scottie (it’s only right, especially if the “Me Monster” gets a name), writing this has made me aware of what another very treasured mentor taught me, that “all preaching and teaching is truth revealed through human experience.” Therefore, I will bring my human story, with my experiences, weaknesses and all, into this equation and onto this blog. To leave them out would be to go against the grain of true Gospel encounter. God’s Good News becomes embodied. The God of the Incarnation chooses to continue to work in an incarnational reality, transforming the lives of His saints. He comes to live in and through us and draws us out beyond ourselves into more of Him. Therefore, Old Shy Scottie, something of my Howardness will come through, it’s inevitable. It’s right. 

I can sense Old Shy Scottie answer by saying that it’s also right that only some of these experiences should be shared, and never to be peddled or profited from. There are some experiences too intimate for the reading eyes of others. And he has a point. When the Apostle Paul shared of his experiences of heaven, he wrote of them in the third person narrative, and even then does not elucidate much about them, only pointing out his weakness. 

We return full circle to awe. It’s what “Life On The B Roads” is all about. I will write about the awe around the acts of God in a personal way. So that together, we can enter into it for God’s greater glory. This is the calling and destination of the church. We will never come to the end of His holy and awe-filled love. It is just more beauty, more wonder, more glory. Forever. And with our tongues stripped of speech, the worship before His throne is very simple. Wings covering eyes, simple.

“Holy, Holy, Holy.” In other words, “Other than, Other than, Other than.”

There is no one like Him, and when He acts, no one can reverse it. He has acted in His Son the Lord Jesus Christ. Resurrected human dust is now glorified at the right hand of the Father. One like a Lamb, slain from the foundation of the world, he bids us come! Enter into your inheritance. What God is by nature, we become by grace. We are partakers of the Divine nature. It is what you were made for.

Onwards! Look upwards. And do not let your hearts be afraid.