Road numbers and registration plates: Signs that make you wonder.
When we were discerning if Greenwood was the place we were being called, to see a vision carried in the heart for over twenty years come to life, it was in the numbers of a B road that I met the Lord Jesus in something of a parable. The road is named the B8007. It weaves its way West from the village of Salen, climbing through Greenwood Retreat’s land. Biblically speaking, numbers have certain meanings and significance. Here is the essence of the parable:
There is a day of new beginnings coming to the church (8). The way into such new beginnings is in seeing not once but twice your nothingness (00). God creates out of nothing. Therefore, don’t fear the vulnerability of having nothing. Understood rightly, it is a place of encounter. Jesus modelled such a joyful dependence, “the Son can do nothing on his own.” Later in the same gospel, Jesus tells his disciples, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” Once you understand that you can do nothing of any lasting worth for the kingdom of God in your own strength, that a branch must abide in the vine to be fruitful, here is where you behold the completeness of the Lord Jesus Christ (7). In him, you lack nothing. In him, we can do all things. Just as seven leads to eight, Christ will lead us into the day of new beginnings in his body, the church.
In feeling this parable (and that’s all it was, just a gut feeling during a time of prayer), there came a personal invitation for my family and me to enter into this vision of ministry as we moved to Greenwood. In his work My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers describes that there are three stages to any vision process. Stage one is the vision. Something is seen, a glimpse of something greater is caught, and the disciple goes out in pursuit of the dream. Then there is the valley. Here is the place of testing, the time of holy refinement, all in service of the vision. During any prolonged time in the valley, the danger is that the original vision can fade from view, and the disciple might turn back. Finally, and because of this time in the valley, the vision’s verity emerges. The idea is no longer pie-in-the-sky at forty thousand feet. It is at hand. More than that, the vision is now truthfully embodied in the disciple’s story.
I am writing this blog with the gift of hindsight, having experienced a glimpse of all three of Chamber’s “V’s.” Greenwood is a beautiful place, a sheer gift of grace and one that I hope I will never take for granted. Yet, just because you step across the river Jordan and enter the promised land of a vision, that doesn’t mean the fight is behind you. Quite the opposite, more often than not, the sense of contest has only just begun. “There are giants in the land, but the grapes are worth it.” as the late, great John Paul Jackson often said when discussing the future possibility in Ireland’s and Scotland’s spiritual “DNA.”
I do not think I am over-embellishing things when I say that these first two years at Greenwood have been two of the hardest I have known in life and ministry. Charlotte agrees. Pioneering something new is tough. The contest came in and through the ordinary things of life. Under normal circumstances we would brush these little set backs aside and continue on. However, in this new context, they all seemed to stack up and become something of a relentless, perfect storm. The cumulative effect wore us down on all fronts. The storm only seemed to get worse. The sole purpose was to bring us to the end of ourselves, to behold our nothingness, all in service of the vision. The devil doesn’t play fair. He comes to kill, steal and destroy. The demonic came to bully and intimidate us as we journeyed through this particular valley. Yet, through this fight, we have gained first-hand experience of a holy mystery: When a soul is intent on looking upon Jesus, to behold him and live for him alone whatever the cost, God in his infinite wisdom will actually use the works of the devil to refine, discipline and ready the disciple of Jesus. Each fiery trial changes us from one degree of glory to the next. No matter what hell throws against the saint, seen correctly in the economy of heaven, it is the making of the man or the woman of God. In his epistle, the apostle James encourages us to “count it all joy” when we go through different ordeals. This is why it is wise to “dignify the trial,” as R.T. Kendal writes, because such trials “produce a steadfastness…that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4).
During Lent this year, things reached a crescendo in an absolute gong show of a week. On Wednesday, our silver Corsa died. The battery was charged, but the ignition wouldn’t fire. The noble folks of Loch Shiel Garage came to tow away the car and run more tests. It turned out the onboard computer gave up the ghost. A new one was worth more than the value of the vehicle. It was to be scrapped. Then, in the very early hours of Friday morning, I saw something in the spirit on Greenwood’s land that was troubling. In truth, I was too tired to know what to do about it at the time. I prayed a simple prayer, seeking God’s help and protection. In the morning, embarking on the school run, I turned over our new car (new to us) only to find that it was behaving like an old tank. The Subaru’s power steering failed. It was Comic Relief Day, but no one was laughing. Brennan, my son, was upset not to enjoy the fun of going to school in casual clothes and baking cakes to raise money for the charity. There were tears from both of us. On that Friday morning, I reached the end of myself. I sat down on a bench that we bought in memory of my late mum, and here I finally and fully surrendered. The fact that the car’s power steering failed felt symbolic. That we had lost both vehicles in the same week made me think of the two zeros in that b-road’s name. I didn’t realise it then, but in that moment of surrender, there was more than a glimmer of light entering this valley.
“Lord, I can’t do this anymore. This fight is too great for me. I don’t even know what’s going on. You have called us to a work here that we cannot do, so I surrender it all to you.”
For the second time in a week, Loch Shiel Garage came to tow away our car. Being without a vehicle in a remote place like Greenwood Retreat feels vulnerable. Thanks to the generosity of local friends (thanks, you living legends, you know who you are!), we were able to borrow different cars as the Subaru (with nine days left under warranty with Arnold Clark, thank God!) was away in Beauly for two weeks being repaired. Later that Friday, I blessed water and sprinkled it on the land, ministering to the Lord and lifting up Greenwood, asking that in the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection, any and all strange demonic activity would cease. Internally, I felt nothing. It was a demonstration of trust. That was Friday. Wait until you hear what happened the following Wednesday!
Just before lunchtime, out of the West, big storm clouds came rolling up Loch Sunart. There was a swift and heavy downpour of hailstones. Then, everything became still. The air felt eerily pregnant in the pause. Then, with a large “bang! Pop!” in the air, a blue light was seen inside the house. Immediately the canon fire of the thunder claps resounded overhead. Charlotte ran to my office, shouting, “Where’s the fire? Where’s the fire? Something must be on fire! Did you see that blue light?” There was a lightning strike, we think it stuck our house, but we were all safe. In the torrential rain that followed the thunder and lightning, verses from the Psalms flooded my soul, and I felt new courage.
“The Lord also thundered in the heavens,
and the Most High uttered his voice,
hailstones and coals of fire.
And he sent out his arrows and scattered them;
he flashed forth lightnings and routed them.” Psalm 18:13–14
“The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,” Psalm 29:3
“God shall arise, his enemies shall be scattered;
and those who hate him shall flee before him!” Psalm 68:1
The sense that accompanied hearing these scriptures was that God was now acting on our behalf in a new way. Later that same day, we had a phone call from friends who said they had been praying for us and shared that they wanted to give us £2000! They felt that this gift was specifically to help towards buying a new car. Additionally, they offered us the use of their second vehicle for as long as we needed. The following day a church in the U.S. got in touch enquiring if their missionary support had been reaching us. It hadn’t through an administrative error on my part. They then let me know that backdated support was coming to us to the tune of $2500.
Let me just say that we are so incredibly grateful for all the support we have received since starting this new ministry here at Greenwood Retreat. Thank you! There was something in the timing of these two specific gifts that felt miraculous because, truth be told, we were down to the last of our savings. We were being invited not to fear our nothingness. Instead, as we moved through it, it became the place of meeting the risen Lord Jesus in the generosity of his people.
As if to underscore this learning, news of another miraculous gift came on Palm Sunday. The providential timing of the day was not lost on me, this was further evidence of the Lord now riding forth. Hosanna to the Son of David! I hope to write another blog soon about the particular details of this miracle. For now, here is the story in brief. A faithful friend phoned me up late on Sunday night. He inquired how we were getting on, and I told him the tale of the two cars. He laughed and said,
“That’s interesting. I’ve been praying for you and sense that Greenwood needs a Land Rover Defender!”
He gave me a budget. I fell off my chair. After the call, like a big kid on Christmas morning, I trawled through Auto Trader into the wee small hours. I found our Landy. It’s a 110 Defender, a former RNLI lifeboat transporter and ambulance. When I saw the registration plate, I heard a little whisper similar to the feeling that came in the parable about the B road. HF58 BVD. The Heavenly Father (HF) is giving grace (5) for new beginnings (8) in the Beloved (BVD).
The themes of completeness and new beginnings described in this blog are also for you, dear reader, to experience first hand. Perhaps you are reading this, and you are not a Christian. Maybe you have looked in all the wrong places and people for your salvation. Perhaps you are just numbly living life, driven by distraction, always needing to be entertained. Or perhaps you are at the end of yourself. You feel hopeless, lost, and are at a low ebb. Do not despair. Call out a simple prayer for help. “Jesus, please help me.” The Scriptures teach that today is the day of salvation. This very day! He is nearer than your next breath. In him is Life in all its fullness. He invites us in to share in that fullness of life. I can bear witness to that.
Or perhaps you are a fellow believer and find yourself in your own “valley.” Again, do not be afraid. Do not fear your nothingness. In the fear of God, ask to see your nothingness. To really understand it. Such nothingness will become the very place of encounter. Do not trust any methodology, program, or well-polished mission plan. Ask to behold Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. Watch what he will do.
Let me end on a note of prophecy: Yes! A day of new beginnings is coming to the church in this land and all across Europe. We will enter into it with nothing. There is nothing in us that can to rescue the lost. There is nothing that we can do that will build his church. The Lord Jesus Christ, the Defender of the Faith, calls us to seek out his purposes in this day and generation and to follow after him in obedience. In him, we lack nothing. In him, we will watch him at work in and through his body, the church. There will be miracles. Signs and wonders. Our great Defender will lead us into all the promises of God. Jesus is our completeness. Jesus, the beloved Son, he is the One who is making all things new.
